Hey Raiders, I’ve got an idea for your Thanksgiving Day Game against the Dallas Cowboys in Texas. For player introductions, instead of running out of the visiting tunnel at Jerry Jones’ monument to excess, his more than a billion dollar stadium with a scoreboard that cost more than his old digs, Texas Stadium, drop on bungee cords from his obese scoreboard and then snap back up into the catwalk.

When the PA announcer says, “Tight End,” Zack Miller drops from the sky, his cleats barely reaching the Cowboys new turf, and he rises back out of sight. “Quarterback,” just as he says that, here comes Bruce Gradkowski on an elastic band, and before the next player is introduced, Gradkowski disappears into the low-hanging scoreboard.

When player introductions are over, they will play the National Anthem and some people might notice that while the song plays there are no Raiders standing on the Oakland sideline. But, the band plays on, assuming the athletes will be ready to start the game for the crowd on-hand and national television audience.

Anthem over, still no Raiders.

They used the cover of the Anthem to sneak out of the stadium, and before anyone realizes the Cowboys have no opponent to play, the bus with the Oakland players is already safely clearing the Cowboys Stadium parking lot and on the way to meet the Raiders flight back to Oakland.  The flight home for the Raiders is now going to leave five-hours before it’s scheduled departure.

Why such histrionics on Thanksgiving Day when people are trying to recover from watching the Detroit Lions earlier and hoping for a better game between the Cowboys and Raiders?

Because this is not going to be a better game.

Trust me Oakland, it will be much better for your health if you just surrender the loss and get out of town without the punishment the Cowboys are certain to deliver if you stick around long enough to play this sham of a matchup.

Oh, I know some think the Raiders beat the Cincinnati Bengals last week, snapping Cincinnati’s franchise record five consecutive road victories in the process. But, that was accomplished with the Bengals in a dead trap, coming off back-to-back wins over the Baltimore Ravens and Pittsburgh Steelers to take control of the AFC North Division race. The Raiders think they won, just like they thought they beat the Philadelphia Eagles last month.

In truth, the Eagles lost that game, and the Bengals lost last Sunday in Oakland. The Raiders just happened to be on the same field when their opponents lost. After that “win” against the Eagles, the Raiders were supposed to be in a good spot against the New York Jets the following Sunday.

The Jets are 1-6 the past seven weeks, and that one win was accomplished in Oakland the week after the Raiders met the Eagles, and New York defeated the Silver and Black 38-0.

Now, the Jets weren’t in a good spot, and won by 38.

The Cowboys are in a good spot.

Uh oh.

The Jets win on the road in a bad spot 38-0, how many will the Cowboys win by at home in a good spot?

More.

You think I’m the only one to notice this?

Think again.

The Cowboys have scored 14 points in their last two games combined, and the books opened this game with Dallas favored by that many points.

Do you think they know something?

Well, the public doesn’t. The line, and last week’s bogus Oakland victory, has the bettors lining up behind Al Davis’ team, which has reduced the opening spread to the current line of 13½.  I wouldn’t be surprised if the spread didn’t drop another half-point before you put your Thanksgiving turkey in the oven.

The books and me are on the Cowboys, the public is on the Raiders … what side do you want?

Perhaps now you know why the bungee cord idea may be the best plan for the Raiders this Thanksgiving … because if they take the field, and they probably will, they are going to get slaughtered.

Think of it this way, it is a David and Goliath battle, and David is in a motivational trap.

Bye-bye David, hello Cowboys.

Qoxhi Picks: Dallas Cowboys (-13½) over Oakland Raiders