Gilda Radner had a Saturday Night Live skit where as Roseanne Roseannadana she would make what she thought was a valid point only to have further evidence prove her completely wrong. This led to her signature line, “Never mind.”
Perhaps I should take on a Roseanne Roseannadana routine after two weeks of National Football League action with my longshot Super Bowl pick, the Houston Texans, still looking for their first win.
But I will hold off on saying, “Never mind,” for at least one more week. If they fail to win today, they meet one of their AFC South Division rivals when they visit the Jaguars in Jacksonville, then I will surrender that the Texans winning the Super Bowl is nearly the same odds as one of us winning the lottery.
I probably have less of a chance than you in that longshot endeavor; I don’t buy lottery tickets. As my dad, who grew up in Chicago while his father was a bartender for Al Capone, said to me the day California introduced the lottery, “In Chicago, we used to call it running numbers.”
Do the Texans have a better shot at winning today than you winning the lottery?
I think so.
Of course, I also thought they were going to win last Monday night when they hosted the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Some might think they were unlucky to lose given they had taken a late lead and allowed the Bucs to travel the length of the field in the final minute to score a winning touchdown with only six seconds left on the game clock. In fact, the Texans were not unlucky to lose that game, they were in fact very fortunate to have a shot at winning it at all.
The Bucs led most of the game, even though they were playing with three key players missing from their offense on the front line and in their receiving corps. Even when the Texans seemed to get life, like a fourth quarter punt block set them up on the Buccaneers side of the field, they couldn’t even produce a first down after that big play.
It was surprising to me to see a DeMeco Ryans team seem so out of sync on both sides of the ball. The Texans coach led Houston to the playoffs, and a postseason win, in his first two years at the helm of the club. According to my numbers, last year could have been a down year for this team, they had risen from last place three years ago to a playoff berth in 2023. And, uncharacteristically, followed up their breakout campaign with another postseason earning season last year.
So, with that as a backdrop, given last year should have been a downer and wasn’t, I figured this season could be a surprise barnburner for C.J. Stroud and company.
So far, never mind.
The Texans lost their opener in Los Angeles to the talented Rams, limited to three field goals in a 13-9 setback. Then, as a home favorite against a Buccaneers team that has won the NFC South Division four straight seasons, the Texans got beat again.
Now what?
I don’t think Houston has a problem, I think they got beat twice in tough spots and now have motivation on their side that should lead to a road win while an underdog in Jacksonville.
Good luck on winning the lottery, and I don’t think I will have to say, “Never mind,” after today’s game is done. I do believe the one result I am always most interested in appears available with the Texans today.
A point spread win.
Qoxhi Picks: Houston Texans (+1½) over Jacksonville Jaguars